Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
~ Ephesians 4:32, ESV ~
We are actively influenced, and are influencing, those relationships around us. One of the greatest frustrations a person experiences in recovery is this: operating in the illusion we have control over, or others have control over us, in our relationships. Reality is that we do not control others – nor, do others control us. We are only capable of influencing those relationships. While, we ourselves, are being influenced.
Our relationships have a dynamic affair where they are quite fluid. When we are actively involved in our recovery, we begin to focus on nurturing them in healthier ways. If anything, our compulsions, substance use, and dysfunctions brought difficulty into ours and other’s lives.
Healthy relationships take time. Require nourishment. They wilt and dissolve when we are passive and only waiting for the relationship to become what we want them to become. Eventually, they grow stale.
Let our focus be on nourishing our own relationship. This is accomplished when we actively seek our Heavenly Father. Through His spirit, He will speak into our lives through other people. Our personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ influences our relationships with others around us. With time, tolerance, and honesty, we grow in grace, mercy, and forgiveness. In turn, through those relationships, we will be nourished.