Overcoming the Guilt of Our Fathers and Ourselves

…you repay the guilt of fathers to their children after them…

~ Jeremy 32:18, ESV ~


Upon entering recovery, and spiritual healing, we are confronted with the guilt and shame that has plagued us in our dysfunctional environments; and, how our own roles have affected the environment of our own children. Through the lens of hindsight, we are able to see clearly how we may have been better parents. We also recall the unfairness of our growing up with toxic parents. How are we able to expect our own children to forgive us if we are unwilling to forgive our own parents? How are we able to come to a place to forgive us for being a toxic role model for our own children?

Yet, there is a powerful necessity for us to face our shame and guilt. This is because we have long imitated our own fathers and mothers in their toxicity and dysfunctions. Not only imitate, we had continued committing similar transgressions. And, we pass this toxic legacy onto our children who engage in similar transgressions. We are stuck at a crossroads of resenting our toxic parents, and, knowing our children may grow up resenting us. All the while, we also have come to resent who we are as individuals and parents.

This mixture of guilt, shame, bitterness, and resentment is part of our need for recovery. Not just for our need of recovery, but, for our need to recover for our family’s overall health and well-being. Had we remain the same, and never learn anything new, we would not have to feel guilty about our past. Nor, face our need to let go of those resentments. Our spiritual renewal commands us to walk in forgiveness toward self and others. 

Today, as we engage in our mindful and spiritual recovery; let us keep in mind that that our children are not helped by our harboring of shame, guilt, resentment, and bitterness. No, they are helped by our constant focus in amending our lives toward a more focused meaningful and purposeful way of living. By embracing our own resentments, forgiving our parents – whether they are still living or have passed on – and forgiving ourselves, we are enriching all generations by repairing those broken connections.

Through us, God’s steadfast love is shown to thousands where we further strengthen our faith to where we receive favor of God’s divine sovereign Grace. Our legacy no longer becomes one of toxicity, fear, manipulation, abuse, and dysfunction. It becomes one of strength, empowerment, endurance, forgiveness, and faithfulness.

Let us accept, and commit, to the increased consciousness where our recovery brings – without punishment – acknowledgment, validation, and forgiveness in order to work toward becoming whole.

Published by Timothy R. Berman

Founder and content provider for Damascus Way Recovery. Developing relevant content to educate, inform, and empower conversations regarding Homelessness, Substance use Disorders, and Mental Health issues from a Christian perspective and worldview.

One thought on “Overcoming the Guilt of Our Fathers and Ourselves

  1. For me to work for to becoming whole, I find not well for my soul.
    What you might think? Do we not know we can’t, otherwise the Christ would have never come here to earth to reconcile us all to Father in his death for all alone.

    Romans 5:10 Authorized (King James) Version (AKJV)

    10 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.

    Having a consciousness of sin trying to not do it again, reinforces doing it again and again, over and over. For under Law, any Law one puts on themselves traps one in doing it again and again. Then there are those that have overcome it as well. And now not seeing it, might be in pride.

    For guilt and pride are the tools of evil, that Satan and his minions use to track us into sin.
    Just review the first chosen when got the Law from Moses who got this from God himself.
    Did they not say they will do it all?
    Yet not one did it, nor can anyone but by Faith to Father alone as revealed by Christ the Son to us all. For he did nothing of self, nor said anything of self

    See our example: So as I see for me to try, I find out I can’t do it either, and by trying, I get trapped in sin as told to us in Romans 7

    So when one sees this and decides to let go, and just trust to be led by God and not self or this world. One gets to see their own bad habits, that keep on in them, that now God himself in spirit and truth is working on to wax them away, and be new in his love for them by Son alone whom is the one and only one that did it perfect for us to be given this by trust, faith and love for all.

    So there is a board in our eyes, is there not? So what did Jesus say about the boards in our own eyes? first remove the board to see and then remove the specs we see in others.

    As only Father leading us as did Son, we get it done at no credit to self, so no pride or guilt is in the way anymore, the board has been removed by God period. We I see are Father’s water glass vessel as Son was the entire time here on earth for us.

    Just as a water glass vessel is to us we are it master, so be the same to Father and Son, willingly, not forcefully as I better do it or else attitude of this world we are in

    Was not Jesus, Father’s water glass? Food for thought a juicy steak to be revealed in spirit and truth of Father and Son for us to rest in and not have to do to get, we got so we do

    Like

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