When Conflicts Arise

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 

~ James 4:1, ESV ~


Part of our recovery and spiritual growth is learning to navigate conflicts that arise within our relationships. Some of us may have been brought up in an environment where we seen a lot of pain, anger, and contention. Many of us may have learned to always be pleasing and agreeable, regardless how we may have felt. Others may have taken personal offense when someone disagreed with us.

The vitality and excitement in our relationships may be choked out if we are too intent on avoiding conflicts. Nothing is capable of being resolved if we attempt to smooth everything over. Differences between individuals do not simply vanish. if we do not bring out our differences, they may fester into bitter fruit of resentment. This creates a silent tension, or cause us to become bored with those relationships. If we are willing to express our own thoughts and feelings, we are able to learn how to resolve those disagreements in a spirit of love and charity. We learn to appreciate other people for their differences, as well as shared similarities.

Today, let us be more open about our differences with one another, not as a way of quarreling, but as a way of letting other’s know you better.

3 thoughts on “When Conflicts Arise

  1. This post was definitely another good read. You are guiding them to be open and learn to different way to communicate who they are and what they need which I think helps them learn to be comfortable in their journey of not only recovery but of the need to please others to their detriment.

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    1. Yes, when we stop focusing on not wanting to engage in conflict, we start focusing and seeing that conflicts are healthy aspects of relationships. That is how we grow and learn about one another. The danger is to recognize when conflicts are too toxic and the need to pull away. Mere disagreements are the growing pains.

      I’ve actually shared with people that if you believe your relationship is healthy because there is no conflict and there is constant agreement and no fighting, you are not in a healthy relationship. Some may disagree with that.

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  2. Open rebuke is better than hidden love, a proverb not sure where, just like it is better to live in the corner of an attic, than to have to contend with a house full of strife.

    Thanks as we, I see and you too, with many others let each be who they are
    For I see it is kindness in love that changes me at least Romans 2:4

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